Just Desserts
by Mona Love
Summary: Charles. Elsie. Strawberries. Summer love...
1. Chapter 1

A BIG thank you to my buddy and muse, HappyHeart :). You are the best! Thanks for all the help and encouragement.

Disclaimer: Not mine, only wish they'd were...

Elsie woke to the sun shining in from the small window of her room. It was going to be another hot day, she thought. Luckily, this morning was her half-day off. She had plans to take some letters to the post, then drop off several of her Ladyships items for special mending. She got up and dressed in her lightest clothing. Today she would forgo her corset and wear a brassiere and smaller knickers. She had purchased them on a whim after the ladies upstairs had begun to shed their corsets. She had not yet had the courage to wear them, but with it being so hot and her being away from the house most the day, she decided it would be perfectly fine. She put on the silky peach undergarments and looked at herself in the mirror. She felt quite exposed, not much more than a handkerchief covering her personal bits. She drug her hand across her soft stomach and still firm, bottom and thighs. The stairs were a blessing in disguise, she thought as she looked at her attractive form. Too bad she would never have anyone to show it to, she thought. She quickly scolded herself for being such a girl. She was in her late fifties, for God's sake! When would she drop these ridiculous fantasies, these silly hopes of being loved. And of course not being loved by just any man. She wished for the love of Charles Carson. Her partner, her confidant, her closest friend. She shook the ridiculous thoughts from her head, as she pulled a french blue blouse and navy skirt from her closet. She dressed quickly, then began to pin her hair up. She left the dark auburn curls looser than usual, then put a little color on her lips and cheeks. She gave herself one last look in the mirror. She thought she looked quite pretty indeed. Perhaps it would be a fine day after all. She grabbed her purse and headed to her sitting room to gather her letters and basket full of her Ladyships clothes.

She took off after bidding farewell to Mrs. Patmore and Daisy. "Please be sure to let Mr. Carson know I will not be back before luncheon." She asked as she waved goodbye and set off for the path to the village. The morning soon turned hot as Elsie arrived at the post office. She mailed her letters, one to her sister, one to her nephew, and one to Joe Burns. She still wrote to Joe on occasion, knowing he was alone and without family. She wanted him to know she still cared for him and knew he was a good man, even if he wasn't the man for her.

She stopped off at the tea shop, ordering herself a cup of tea and plate of sandwiches. Several townspeople stopped to inquire of her or wish her a good day. She was greeted with a smile and a tip of the hat by many gentlemen this fine morning. Perhaps she was looking lovely today. It brought a little spring to her step and a smile to her face as she headed to drop off the rest of her things. She left the dressmakers shop after dropping off her Ladyships things and set off for home. It must be getting close to luncheon and she still wanted to stop off at the lake to feel the cool water on her legs. It was a luxury she rarely afforded herself, but the heat of midday was becoming almost unbearable.

Elsie walked slowly back to Downton. Being alone on the road she began to sing a song close to her heart. It reminded her of her home in Scotland, and of course, it made her think of Charles.

_My love is like a red, red rose_

_That's newly sprung in June_

_My love is like a melody_

_So sweetly played in tune_

_As fair art thou my Bonnie lass_

_So deep in love am I_

_And I will love thee still my dear_

_Though all the seas gone dry_

She hummed and sang as she walked along the road back to Downton. She came to the path that would take her through the fields to the lake and she turned and joyfully took off across the bright sun-drenched fields. She happened upon a lovely patch of wild strawberries and bent to pick a few. The sweet flavor exploded in her mouth and she soon found herself filling her empty basket full of the tasty treats. She would bring them home to Mrs. Patmore. She was sure she would whip up something lovely with sugar and cream. The sun beat down on her as she picked the fruit. Since she was alone with not a soul in sight she unbuttoned several buttons on her shirt, partially exposing her new silky brassiere. She undid her cuffs as well, rolling up the sleeves past her elbows. The warm breeze felt good against her bare flesh, as did the suns rays. She took off her hat and placed it in her purse, then pulled several pins from her hair, letting curls escape around her face, and down her back. She felt young and free, like a child out berry picking for her mother. She began to sing again as she bent over the patch picking the luscious red fruit.

_My love is like a red, red rose_

_That's newly sprung in June_

_My love is like a melody_

_So sweetly played in tune_

_As fair art thou my Bonnie lass_

_So deep in love am I_

_And I will love thee..._

Elsie stopped singing suddenly. Realizing she was not alone, she raised her head and looked straight into Charles Carson's shocked face...

...

Charles walked the path back to Downton. He had run a quick errand this morning to pick up some essentials for Mrs. Patmore. She told him that she had just missed Mrs. Hughes and was desperately in need of said items, and could he please run into the village and collect them for her as the girls were all busy preparing for the dinner guests tonight. He obligingly agreed and headed off, happy to be in the sunshine on this beautiful summer day. Mrs. Patmore watched him leave, a sneaky smile spreading across her face. She knew he would run into Elsie. She also saw that Elsie was looking especially lovely this morning. Maybe Mr. Carson would notice as well.

The heat of the suns rays soon had Charles pulling off his jacket and carrying it over his shoulder. He walked in silence, listening to the birds and the rustle of leaves as the warm breeze swept through them. He looked out upon the bright fields of Downtown, watching the grass bend and sway with the wind. Just as he was passing a tall oak, he glanced to his right to see a beautiful woman bending in the strawberry patches. Her dark curls fell over her face and shoulders. Her forearms bare, her blue blouse hanging open as she bent revealed a beautiful round chest encased in lovely peach silk. He could not tear his eyes away from her. She was by far the most lovely thing he had ever set eyes on. Then she began to sing, the words he did not know, but the soft Scottish lilt caressing his ears was far too familiar. He saw that it was her as she pulled a handkerchief from her purse and pressed it across her brow and cheeks, she slowly moved to her chest, opening her shirt slightly more to wipe across the top of her full round breasts. His thoughts and body betrayed him as he tried to keep his calm and control. He could feel his pulse quicken, and slight tightening in his trousers. He could not look away.

He continued staring at her, the shock of the beautiful woman's identity startling him to the core. She raised her head, and her blue eyes widened. Her full lips stained red from the juice of the berries, parted in surprise, her hair hung seductively around her face and shoulders. Elsie's shirt hung brazenly open, the cleft of her bosom peeking out from the peach brassiere. Charles could not pull his gaze away, or even speak. For moments they stood there just staring at each other in shock. Charles realized his mouth was hanging open and he cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Hughes." He said giving her a questioning look, his eyes glancing down to her chest.

Elsie looked down and her hands flew up to her blouse quickly buttoning as fast as her fingers would move. "Mr. Carson. I thought I was alone...I did not expect anyone to be out from the house today. I apologize for my state of undress." She said as her hands went to her hair, pinning her wild curls back into place. "I hope I didn't shock you too much?" She added smiling slightly, her cheeks and chest flushing in embarrassment. "I just stopped to pick these lovely berries for Mrs. Patmore, and I'm headed to the lake just now. Would you care to join me?"

The need to be with her, to spend some time alone with the beautiful, mysterious creature he just witnessed was overwhelming. "Yes, Mrs. Hughes. I think I'd like that very much." Charles went to her bending to pick up her berry filled basket and purse. "Allow me." He said, then smiled as he offered Elsie his arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsie happily took Charles' offered arm, a tingle coursing through her body as they touched. This feeling she felt between them so many times was almost tangible now. The way Charles answered her, his voice so deep and sultry, a smile on his face. She could not help but notice how just moments ago, he stared at her breasts as her blouse hung open. How his gaze lingered on her body, held her own eyes for longer than appropriate. She was feeling so completely turned on by the sight if him in just his white shirt. His jacket haphazardly slung over his shoulder. Her hand was now linked through his arm and she could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin shirt. She was sure he could feel this fire between them as well. If only they could act on it. Have something of their own. A life of their own. One not dictated by status, rules, and propriety. But ruled by their feelings, needs, and desires.

He tensed when Elsie took his arm. The want and heat still rushing through his body from seeing her so exposed and beautiful. It felt so real being in this moment with Elsie. She was the only real part of his life. The one thing that was true, and honest, and his. Not his, like he would like her to be, but his as much as he could have her. Their friendship was without status and barriers. However, his love for her was not without barriers. There were rules that forbid it. Rules that meant so much to him. Too much, he thought. He had lived his life in service only a half alive. Never overstepping, never breaking the rules. These guidelines that kept him steady and balanced also tore him in pieces. Kept him from loving her. But, oh how he loved her. How he needed her. He needed her like the air he breathed. To be able to love her openly was a dream.

Elsie held tight to the man she loved. In her mind she thought, this is how it could be. A real normal life with Charles as her man, her husband. They would walk together freely and openly. Their love displayed for all to see. She watched his handsome regal features, the sunlight playing on his now silver hair. She smiled up at him and he turned to catch her adoring gaze. She looked down quickly pretending to fix her sleeve. She could feel his eyes on her as they continued walking, the lake now visible from the path.

Charles caught her looking up at him, her beautiful smile causing a shiver through him despite the blistering heat of the sun. Though he tried to hold back, he could not keep his thoughts from coming out. "You look quite lovely today, Mrs. Hughes."

She was caught off guard by Charles' compliment. She kept her eyes down, chewing nervously on her lip. She decided to be honest with him. "Thank you, Mr. Carson. It's been many years since I've heard that. Sometimes I scarcely remember I'm a woman at all. In our line of work, it doesn't do well to dwell on vanity or physical appearance. Does it?"

"I've always thought you are quite beautiful, Mrs. Hughes. Inside and out." Charles offered, hoping she believed his honest and heartfelt words.

"Are you quite alright, Mr. Carson? Perhaps you've had a bit too much sun today." Elsie joked to hide the feelings of embarrassment and happiness that rushed over her at his compliment.

"Perhaps, Mrs. Hughes. But nothing could ever change my opinion of your beauty." He said lowering his voice an octave and placing his hand over the one she had tucked into his arm.

"Nor mine of yours, dear man." She said as she boldly pressed closer to him, her breast pushing against his arm.

"You think I'm quite handsome then, do you?" Charles said looking smug, his chin in the air, his eyes straight ahead.

"I don't believe that's what I said at all, Mr. Carson." She teased him playfully. Her Scottish brogue rolling the r's in his name slowly. He stopped fully at this and she wondered if she had injured him with her teasing. She looked up to see him pouting at her. This great, large house of a man towering over her, his brows furrowed and frown on his face, but a twinkle in his eye. She playfully swatted at his chest. "Charles Carson, you know you are the most handsome man to walk through the halls of Downton." He gave her that half smirk he always had when he'd won, and they set back off towards the lake. She was fully enjoying this rare moment between them when the walls were down. They were able to laugh and joke with one another. Flirt shamelessly, knowing nothing would come from it, but satisfied by the release all the same.

The walked in silence, occasionally stealing glances at one another. When they reached the lake, Elsie took the basket and her purse from Charles and set them on the old wooden dock. She walked down to the end and bent to remove her shoes. Charles watched her as she slipped out of her shoes and began to hike up her dress. He could see from behind that she had pulled the front of her skirts clear up past her knee, undoing her garters so she could slip off her stockings. This woman was going to be the death of him, he thought as he watched her. "Mrs. Hughes! What are you doing?" He said faking shock. He chuckled quietly to himself.

"Oh hush, Mr. Carson! You can't see anything. Come on down here and cool off." Elsie ordered him teasingly as she slowly rolled the stockings down her legs.

Charles could feel his temperature rising, but he knew it wasn't from the heat of the sun. It was from the bent form of his Elsie, slowly undressing her legs. He wanted to say he'd seen quite a lot of her already today, but did not want to embarrass her any further. He walked towards her as he watched her sit down on the edge of the dock. When he got there he saw her dress hiked up and her pretty little feet and calves hanging over the edge into the water. She tilted back using her arms to support her and closed her eyes as the sun and Charles' gaze looked down on her.

Elsie opened one eye to see Charles standing over her, staring. She smiled up at him as she spoke. "Come on now, Mr. Carson. You should cool off. It is so very hot today." She pleaded, using a sensual voice she didn't even recognize as her own. She felt different today, like a siren had taken over her body. She felt sexual, alluring...womanly. It could be the soft silk of the new undergarments. Charles seeing her pretty blue blouse open, and now her bare legs. The juicy sweet taste of the sun kissed berries. The male attention she received in town today. Seeing Charles in only his white shirt. Their flirting as they walked to the lake. She felt suddenly bold and turned slightly towards him reaching one hand around his calf and slowly lifting as she pulled Charles' shoe off. She did the same to the other, then slid her hands under the leg of his pants, her fingers touching the hair on his solid calf as she slid his socks down and off his feet. She didn't say a word or look up as she did this, but could feel Charles acquiesce to her wishes.

Charles watched Elsie turn towards him, her feet still dangling in the water as she placed her hand around his calf. He tensed immediately, excited and nervous as she touched him, slowly removing his shoes and socks. Without a word from either of them, he hiked up his trousers and sat down next to her at the end if the dock. The water was cool and refreshing, and he smiled over at Elsie as she smiled back. Their hands brushed as the both sat on the dock, mere inches between their bodies. "Thank you, Mrs. Hughes. This is indeed most enjoyable. I'm very glad I ran into you today."

"As am I, Mr. Carson." Elsie responded, before adding. "Although perhaps next time I can be fully clothed before meeting one another. I think you have seen more of me in one afternoon than you have in almost twenty years at Downton."

The normally stoic butler found it hard to hide his words. "Well I must say Mrs. Hughes, it was certainly worth the wait."

Elsie burst into laughter at Charles confession to her. "Charles Carson! What has come over you today? You are positively scandalous."

"I'm really not quite sure...Elsie Hughes," he said smiling. "But I'm thinking it is entirely your fault." And he burst into laughter as well. They both sat there laughing for several minutes before Charles slid his hand slightly over, grabbing Elsie's small palm tightly in his own...


	3. Chapter 3

Elsie's hand in Charles' felt so small and delicately feminine. She slowly turned and intertwined their fingers, smiling up at him. He gave her that handsome half grin, his eyes resting on her mouth. His smile faded as he continued to stare at her. His face became serious and his breathing rapid. She felt once again the passion and lust between them. Elsie licked, then bit down nervously on her bottom lip. Could this really all be happening? She started her day out on a simple errand. Now, here she was with Charles. She had exposed herself to him, brazenly flirted with him, held tight to his arm, and was now holding his hand tenderly as she watched him lean down to kiss her. She held her breath, and her lips parted as she closed her eyes.

Charles was pleasantly surprised when Elsie's small hand accepted his and returned his squeeze. She slowly wound their fingers into one. She was smiling at him as she had done all day, and he was lost in her beauty. He had always been attracted to her, but there was something about her today he could not resist. After seeing her in the fields, her full breasts bursting from the pale peach silk. The delicate freckles of her bare forearms. Her red lips so full and wet, he wanted to taste them so badly. To sample the luscious nectar that was Elsie. His sweet forbidden fruit. His lust for her took over him and he leaned in closely, readying himself for his first taste of her. Her eyes closed and she released her bottom lip, parting them slightly, in anticipation. He brushed his lips against hers slowly before taking her full sweet tasting bottom lip between his. He ran his tongue slowly across the crease of her opening and she sighed softly into his mouth. Her breathing was rapid, as her breasts rose and fell quickly so close to his chest. They slowly played with each other. Their tongues tentative, their lips gentle and teasing. He pushed further, pressing his tongue into her mouth, crushing his lips into hers. She responded the same, releasing her hand from his, and placing it around the back of his neck pulling him into her. They kissed like this for what seemed hours, neither wanting to pull back or stop.

"Ohhh..Charles." Elsie sighed softly as Charles' hand went to her hair and his lips made their way down her neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin. She was completely lost in the passion of the moment. She could think of nothing else, but how good it felt to have Charles like this. How she wanted more. Her body ached to touch him, to be touched by him. She placed her hand on his chest, running her fingers across the hard muscle before she moved to her blouse and began to undo the buttons at her neck. She knew she would have to be the one to make the next move. Charles was far too respectful to attempt any debauchery, but she had a feeling he would not be able to resist her advances.

Charles was shocked to find Elsie's hand rubbing across his chest. Then she moved to her hands to her pretty blue blouse, unbuttoning it slowly, allowing him access to more of her. He pulled back to watch her as she slowly released one button after the other, exposing herself down past her heaving chest. Her large, full breasts encased in the soft peach silk was the loveliest sight he had ever seen. He felt stirrings in his body, his trousers tightening across his aching need. He reached out to her, and paused slightly before cupping her breast gently in is large hand. It was a perfect fit, like she was made just for him. He knew she was made for him, there had never been anyone else that could make him feel as Elsie did. His love for her was the only sure thing in his life. It was always his one steady and constant feeling. It had grounded him to her for so many long years. He loved Downton, but it was not his heart. His heart belonged to this beautiful woman before him. He leaned down again, capturing her lips as his hand softly caressed her.

He touched her body with a reverence and love she had never known before. She gasped when his hand slid under shirt to her back and pulled her closer to him. He held her tightly, his face pressed into her neck. She could feel him shudder beneath her hands. She loved him so deeply and knew him so well. She could tell he was battling with his own feelings of propriety and honor, his fears were getting the best of him. "It's alright, Charles. This is not wrong."

She knew what he felt, without him saying a word. Didn't she always know. At times, even before he knew himself. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to ruin us, Elsie." He was afraid. Afraid that once they set foot back in the house, he would not be able to go back to how they were. Or that he would go back to that way, and hurt her by being distant. He feared they would be discovered, and both would lose their positions. Things would never be the same. He knew now that he had touched her skin and tasted her lips, he would be completely consumed by her if he let them continue. Every thought, action, breathe would be of, or for Elsie. He silently scolded himself for being such a coward.

She pulled back from him and Charles lifted his head. Elsie looked into his eyes and spoke the words he needed to hear. "Nothing could ever ruin us Charles. We have already been through so much together. Even if this is only for today, can we not just have this one moment?" Elsie stopped herself. Maybe this is not what he wants. Maybe she is not what he wants. "Unless of course, you don't want me in this way." Charles continued to stare at her without responding. Elsie pulled herself up from the edge of the dock and stood over him. "I think it would be best if we head back to the house, Mr. Carson."

Feeling completely heartbroken, Charles lifted himself from the dock to find Elsie already slipping her shoes on her feet and bending to retrieve her purse and basket of berries. He watched as she headed out across the field towards Downton. He was a fool, a selfish coward. How could he let her leave thinking he did not want her. He had never wanted anything so badly in his life. She had wanted him as well, offered herself to him without fear or promises. She just wanted to feel something between them for once, and he had denied her this. Denied them both even a small glimpse of the love they could have shared.


	4. Chapter 4

Elsie walked back towards the house, pausing when she got within sight and turning towards the gardens. She couldn't face heading back yet. She needed time to gather her thoughts and emotions. She did not want to see Charles. Wasn't quite sure what she would say, or how they would move on from this point. Elsie entered the archway into the blossoming and fragrant gardens. She walked amongst the blues, pinks, and yellows until she found herself deep within the secluded quiet. She went to an area of the garden she used when she needed an escape from the house and the day to day life of service. She placed her purse and basket of berries down on the smooth white bench in front of her, then sunk next to them. Tears slid down her cheeks as she dreamed of a different life. What could she have done, or been, if she hadn't taken her position at Downton? A life without the constant heartache and pain of unrequited love. For she knew now that Charles did not love her. He did not want her. When he kissed her so passionately, touched her so lovingly, she thought he just might. He might love her and want her as badly as she wanted him. But he pulled back, and she saw the look in his eyes. She felt the painful sting of his silence burn the edges of her heart.

...

Charles paced back and forth across his pantry. My God! Where is she? It was now nearly time for him to ring the gong and she still wasn't back. Panic had settled into his chest, and he felt a tightening similar to that of his attack. If anything has happened to her, he would never forgive himself. He had to go find her. Mrs. Patmore had been asking him since he'd been back if he'd seen her. She just glared at him when he said they had met in passing. He heard the backdoor open and he bolted out of his room to check. Seeing Thomas walk back in from smoking his cigarettes, Charles glared at the man. "Mr. Barrow, you will need to take over dinner service tonight. Mrs. Hughes is late coming back from the village, and I am going to look for her. Please be sure to inform the family of my whereabouts and that there is no need to worry. I should be back shortly with Mrs. Hughes."

"Yes, Mr. Carson." Thomas replied dutifully, before adding, "You don't think Mrs. Hughes has ran into any trouble, do you? It's just that Jimmy was in the village earlier and he said Mrs. Hughes was talking to a man at the tea shop."

"What are you implying Thomas?" Charles exploded.

Thomas was genuinely concerned for the dear housekeeper. "Nothing untoward, I assure you Mr. Carson. I am just concerned. I do care for Mrs. Hughes."

If he didn't dislike the man so much, Charles would have been touched by his concern. "As do we all, Mr. Barrow. Do not worry. We will both be back shortly."

Charles took off across the yard, the panic still sitting in his chest like a rock. His eyes surveyed the grounds. What if she was injured? What if she was harmed? Rage built in him before it subsided when he realized she was harmed. By him. Maybe not physically, but certainly she had been upset her by his behavior this afternoon. What if she was angry with him? Or worse yet, hurt enough to leave him. What if she left and was never coming back to Downton? He stopped in his tracks and bent over grabbing his knees. He thought for certain he was going to be sick. The pain in his heart traveled throughout his whole body. He could not survive if she left him. He could not imagine a life without her in it. If he found her, he would tell her. He would not hide his feelings any longer. He stood back upright. A new sense of drive and purpose filling him. She will be fine. He will find her, and propriety be damned, he will confess his complete love and devotion to her. He will show her his love.

...

Elsie knew it was late and she needed to head back to the house. She realized they may even be worried about her. Yet, she was sure Charles would have set their minds to ease. Let them know she was going to be late. It never occurred to her he might be worried. She couldn't find the strength to face him. Not when she knew her heart would certainly break. She had spent all these years building this wall around her to protect herself from him and his carelessness with her. He had hurt her with his words so many times over the years, she had failed to keep track. He relied on her too much, and she had let it go on for too long. She was always there. No matter how many times he would kick her down. She would get back up. Make excuses for him, accept his inept apologies, and continue to adore a man who thought little of her. A few flirty remarks, a touch of his hand, and she had melted into him like butter on toast. He had absorbed all of her, then spit her back out. Left her the whimpering heap of a mess she was feeling like. But no longer! She would not worship this man who could not even give her a response. Who did not have the courage to tell her she was not what he wanted. A man who, seemingly on a whim, flirted and toyed with her emotions before crushing them so soundly. This man was not the Charles Carson she knew, but she was starting to think the Charles she knew, was one she created in her mind. A perfect version of a reticent and stubborn fool, who really loved and cared deeply. Maybe all that he was, really was all that he showed. All prim, proper, dutifulness. He was surface deep. His blatant adoration for the family was all he had in him. Elsie swallowed her tears and stood, heading back to the house, and the man who she once considered the love of her life.

...

Charles stood upright and looked out towards Downton's gardens. In the twilight he could see a shadowy figure moving towards him across the grounds. He would recognize that sway of the hips anywhere. "Elsie! Mrs. Hughes!" He shouted across the lawn as he walked quickly towards her. They were now closing in on each other and he could see the stern look on her face. A warning to him. "Mrs. Hughes, I have been looking for you. Wherever have you been?" He asked kindly, not wanting to offend her further.

"I apologize Mr. Carson. Was there something you needed?" She asked curtly.

Charles looked down from her face. Still ashamed by his actions of earlier. "I was worried about you."

Elsie held her head high and dug deep for strength, finding the words she knew would push him away and save herself. "You need not ever worry about me, Mr. Carson. Do not concern yourself."

"But you are my concern, Mrs. Hughes." Charles answered softly, the harshness in her voice piercing his heart. "I could never not worry or care for you," he added sheepishly.

"Please try." Her voice was no longer harsh, but pleading. Begging him to just leave her be. As her friend, she knew the words would hurt him. She just needed him to know they could no longer go on as they had. Gone were the nights of wine and tea by the firelight. Long talks and confessions. She gave him one last look and brushed by him, hurrying towards the house.

...

He had done it. He had driven that last nail in. Pushed her over the age of no return. He could see by the look on her face that she was tired of his games. They were never games to him though. He just could not find the strength to move forward with her. Over the years, all their shared smiles, touches, brief moments of tenderness and care, had meant more to him than anything else in his life. She must know that. He felt his heart break and sink into his stomach as she walked past him towards the house. Her words hurting like ice rushing through his veins.


	5. Chapter 5

Elsie hurried past Charles towards the house. Making her way to her sitting room, she walked behind her desk and collapsed into her chair as tears began to fall down her cheeks. She was embarrassed seeing Charles for the first time since she had so brazenly tried to give herself to him at the lake. For the first time in her life she was ashamed of herself. She had just ruined the truest and deepest friendship she ever had. He was her only family, and now, now she just felt so alone. She tried to make sense of things. It was Charles who initiated the encounter. He who had leaned in and kissed her with a passion she had never known before. And then, he just went and chucked her away. Yes, she was heartbroken. But she was also furious. Furious with herself, and furious with Charles Carson.

Charles entered the house and retreated to the quiet solitude of his pantry. He sat at his desk, his face falling into his hands as tears slid down his cheeks. The finality in Elsie's words stung his heart like a dagger. He loved her with everything in him. He needed her with him, on his side. The realization that he had hurt her so badly, left him feeling empty. Elsie was all he had. His truest and most dear friend. She was his family, his love. He knew now that she wanted him, this gloriously beautiful, angel of a woman had wanted him. He was nothing. A shiftless singing, dancing rogue. A man with a position, but without the character to back it up. His treatment of Elsie today even further confirmed his assessment of himself. He had strived nearly his whole life to forget his shady past, yet it always seemed to come back to haunt him.

Days passed and the tension downstairs was thick enough to cut with a knife. Mrs. Hughes continued to avoid Mr. Carson whenever possible; skipping meals, staying to her room, going on walks about the grounds. She didn't know how much longer she could go on like this. It occurred to her that she may need to finally accept the open ended proposal of Joes. He was a good man, after all. She thought anything would be better than seeing Charles everyday, knowing he did not love her. The constant reminder was slowly eating away at her heart.

Charles walked the halls, hoping for a chance to get her alone, talk to her, apologize until she understood why he reacted the way he did. He needed her to understand how very much he wanted her that day, and how he let his fear control him and cause him to push her away. How he did not see himself as worthy enough to be blessed by the gift she was giving him. And how he could just not let go and accept her. Something inside him was wound so tightly, he couldn't free himself from the binds.

A week passed without words between the two. The great house was in complete upheaval. Without communication between the heads of staff, life at Downton was mass confusion. Dinners were served late, wrong tablecloths used. Place settings were mismatched, silverwear tarnished. The family noticed the chaos, and watched daily as a silent and somber looking Carson moped about the house.

It was early one evening when Lady Mary found herself alone in the library with the once strong and steady butler. "Carson, whatever is the matter with you?" Mary asked imploringly. "I have not seen you look so blue."

"I am quite well, my Lady. Thank you for asking." Carson gave her a smile that she noticed did not quite reach his eyes.

"Carson, do tell. I know you still see me as somewhat of a child, but I am not anymore. I am a woman, a Mother, a widow, your friend." Mary paused before adding. "Is it Mrs. Hughes, Carson? Is there something wrong between the two of you?" She knew that it was. Anna had informed her of the sudden change in their behaviors. That neither were speaking to each other as they always had. They no longer met each night, locking themselves away in his pantry, or her sitting room.

"There is, my Lady. You see... I love her." Mary smiled at him, encouraging him to go on. "I have always loved her. But now I need her. I ache for her. To hold her, to make her smile, to share our lives." Charles cleared his throat. "I don't want to disappoint, or seem ungrateful to your family who has given me so much and will always retain my deepest loyalty and regard." His face turned sad as he continued. "It's just...I am an old man now, my darling girl. I have given my life to Downton and to your family... I would like to give the little time I have left to Mrs. Hughes."

Tears filled Mary's eyes at the heartfelt confession of the man who had always been her friend. The one person she could always count on to be behind her, supporting her decisions. Boosting her confidence in times of doubt. She would now take her chance to do that for him. "And does she feel the same? Does she love you Carson?"

"I honestly do not know. I believe she does, did. But, I have hurt her. I have pushed her away and insulted her one too may times. I don't know what to do to make it right."

"Honestly, Carson!" Mary said exasperatedly. "Go to her. Tell her everything you just told me. Do not wait a second." She took his large hand in her own. "I know this is highly improper to say, Carson. But, I do care for you deeply. And if I have learned anything in life, it is not to waste time. You never know how long you get." She said quietly, thinking of her lost love. Tears started to form in her eyes as Charles embraced her warmly.

"I will always be here for you, my Lady."

"And I for you, Carson." Mary said pulling back and smiling. "Now go to her."

With that Charles was out the library door and heading downstairs. He went straight to her sitting room, flinging the door open only to find it empty. Rushing towards the kitchen his booming voice questioning. "Has anyone seen Mrs. Hughes?" To whoever he passed on his way.

"Mr. Carson! What is all this racket about?" Mrs. Patmore yelled, coming out of the kitchens, rubbing her flour covered hands into her apron.

"Mrs. Patmore! There you are. Yes, umm, I was wondering if you know where I could find Mrs. Hughes?" Charles asked her nervously. He knew Elsie confided in the cook, and he could only assume from her recent treatment of him, that she was none too happy with him as well.

"And why should I tell you?" She glared at him as she spoke. "Don't you think you've done enough already? Or is there another nail you want to drive into her heart?"

Charles grabbed both her shoulders, and looked into her eyes as he spoke. "Please, Beryl? I love her! I have to speak to her. I can't take this anymore."

A wide smile spread across the cooks face. "Well, it took ya long enough, Ya daft bugger! Go on now, she went towards the gardens. You know where she likes to go."

Charles pulled the cook in towards him and kissed her soundly on the forehead. Releasing his grip and turning towards the backdoor. He could hear the cook giggling as she whispered, "it's about damn time too!"


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello, my sweet and sassy reviewers :) This is a WARNING! The chapter you are about to read is way smutty! We are talking MMM! You have been warned, my dears. Now go enjoy. _

_P.S. Sorry for the delay between Chapters 4 and 5... Life, what can I say. Although reviews do seem to light a fire under my fingertips... (Hint, hint). Also, if you have any requests, ideas, want me to finish another fic I've written...let me know. Seriously, I'm a nice girl. I aim to please ;)_

Charles rushed out the backdoor, the greenish hue of an oncoming storm filled the darkening sky. Now, not only was he nervous to find her and make his confession of love, he was worried he wouldn't find her before the storm began. He walked out towards the gardens, the sky darkening as he made his way. He was near the arching entryway into the garden when he saw her from the corner of his eye. He watched her as she hurriedly escaped through the side of the garden. He knew that she had spotted him and was trying her hardest to avoid and encounter. His heart sank in his chest, and he felt the tears begin to form in his eyes.

"Elsie, wait! Please, Elsie!" Charles shouted at her back. "Don't go! Don't leave me!"

She turned to him, her face unreadable. Her eyes questioning. She walked back towards him, the night sky darkening, a distant rumble of thunder shuddered around them. "Why Charles? Why?"

Charles stepped closer, bringing his hand up to her cheek. Elsie jerked her face from his touch, as if she was burned. He watched her gaze lower as she bit her lip. He knew he had damaged her with his carelessness. He always managed to make a mess of things when it came to Elsie. He would want to pull her close, and he would end up pushing her away. He would want to kiss her sweet lips, and he would end up insulting her. He had never seemed to get things right, when it really should be so easy with Elsie. She was the person who mattered most to him. The woman he wanted with every fiber of his being. He reached out to her again, cupping her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him. "I'm sorry, Elsie. I'm so sorry." He saw the tears well up in her eyes as they came rushing out onto his fingers. He brushed them away with his thumbs. Delicately stroking the soft skin of her cheeks, while staring into her deep blue eyes. "I wanted you that day, Elsie. I have never wanted anything more in my life. You are so beautiful." As thunder and lightning began to fill the sky, Charles leaned in slowly, capturing her lips with his own.

Elsie fell into his kiss once again. She knew she was powerless against the man before her. She had tried to be strong and hold him away from her heart. Yet, when he held her face, she felt her resolve melt away. When his deep voice spoke his lust for her, her heart soared, her mind clouded over, her body buzzed with anticipation. She reached her arms up and wrapped them around his shoulders, deepening their kiss.

Their mouths gently pressing, tongues caressing tongues, his teeth biting gently at the lower lip he had craved to taste for so many years. His hands went around her small waist and slid across her back, pressing her body tightly into his. Elsie heard Charles moan, before he pulled back, locking eyes with her. Charles gazed at the woman before him. Beautiful, kind, his life, his home.

"Oh, Elsie. I love you more than you will ever know," he confessed. Charles rained down kisses upon Elsie's face as the clouds began to cry their own tears. The skies opened up and began to pour down on them. They broke apart and Charles grabbed Elsie's hand, quickly pulling them to the nearest shelter. The thunder and lightning booming and cracking around them, they arrived safely to one of Downton's small greenhouses.

Charles opened the door and quickly ushered Elsie inside. He followed closely behind her, shutting the door. The small building was dark and fragrant. The lightning illuminating the pink and purple flowers through the transparent glass walls. Charles and Elsie were pressed together, chest to chest, breathing heavy from their exertion. This was so new to them, being so close to one another. Elsie kept hearing Charles words play over and over in her mind "I love you more than you will ever know. I have never wanted anything more in my life." She could feel her heart beating in her chest, could feel Charles warm breath on her face. She inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of his aftershave, and could feel her body shiver in response. Still, she held his eyes. The light of the storm filling the small space enough for them to see each other. She felt Charles' hand take hers, their fingers winding together intimately, his thumb rubbing small circles on hers. "I love you, Elsie Hughes. I love you so very much." He brought her hand to his lips, kissing slowly across her soft fingers. She had not yet responded to his words and he was beginning to feel nervous. Yet, he also felt free. The chains that had been weighing his heart down for nearly twenty years, were finally coming loose. His confession freeing him from his own lonely prison.

Elsie was letting her nerves get the best of her. She started to shiver, not knowing if it was the cool dampness of her pretty blue blouse, or the fear of watching her life change before her very eyes. Her blouse was soaked, clinging to her chest. Her drenched and heavy skirt was sliding down her hips. Charles quickly pulled off his jacket, draping it around her shoulders and pulling her into his arms. She lay her head against his chest contentedly, as his hands caressed up and down her back in an effort to warm her body. "Are you certain, Charles?" She asked quietly against his chest. "Do you love me enough for us to be together? There may be consequences."

"Elsie, I won't let you down." Charles promised. His deep voice loud as the crashing thunder. "I won't let you go, Elsie. Not now. Not ever."

Elsie turned her face into his chest and the sobs of relief took over her body. She shook under his arms. The rumbling of the thunder helping to conceal her cries. She pulled her head from his warm solid chest and looked into his eyes once more. She could see his love for her written all over his face. His handsome half smile coaxed the slightest of smiles from her. She began to feel dizzy, could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She placed one hand on his chest as the other held his cheek. "I love you, Charles Carson."

When Elsie spoke her love to him, Charles' hands went around her waist, lifting her onto her toes and deep into his embrace. They held each other, taking in this moment of sheer joy and happiness, before Charles found her lips once again. Lust raged through him as his hands traced the curves of her body through her damp clothes. They devoured each others kisses. As his mouth moved to suck roughly at the firm flesh of her now exposed shoulder, Elsie let out a whimper of sheer bliss. They tore at each others clothes, their need and desire driving them mad. Tired of the buttons of her blouse, Charles pulled the French blue cotton over Elsie's head. She unzipped her skirt, letting it slide down her body. She quickly kicked it to the side, joining her shirt in a heap on the wood floor. Charles' shirt was off, and he found himself standing in front of her staring at the lovely skin he had never seen until now. He took a moment to take in her bare chest and arms, brushing his fingers lightly across the flawless pale skin. He slowly pulled the strings of her corset, loosening the ties and pulling the offending garment from her precious body. Elsie stood in her shift, the flash of lightning showing the curves and dips of her body through the sheer fabric. Charles could see the beautiful dark pink of her hardened nipples. He longed to touch them, taste them, have all of her under his mouth and tongue.

Elsie raked her nails along the soft hair of Charles chest. She reached low around his back, her fingertips reaching down into his trousers and digging into the firm flesh of his bottom as she pulled him closer. Charles deep moan rang through her body as he pressed himself into her. She could feel his hard need throbbing against her belly, and she wanted nothing more than to reach into his pants and touch him. To feel his want and need for her. "Charles... Oh..Charles." She moaned into his mouth as her hands went to his trousers. She brushed her fingers gently across the front, and he thrust in response.

"Oh God, Elsie.." He groaned as his head tipped back.

She took this time to slow down and tug gently at his now undone trousers and shorts, sliding them down his strong legs. She bent with them, her face inches from his large stiff member. Elsie was at once, intimidated by it's size. This was not her first, but she had never seen anything like this. Her hand tentatively reached out, circling the shaft in her palm. Charles stiffened and groaned deeply. She continued to slide her hand along his length, before bending to place a kiss at the shining head. She smiled to herself as her mouth opened and took him inside. She felt like a woman possessed. Consumed by passion and need. Willing to do anything and everything for the man before her.

"Elsie!" Charles groaned her named as he bent over her, pleasure causing his knees to weaken and keep him from standing straight. She played with him for a moment, before he reached down and grabbed her arms, pulling her up to him. He could not find the words to express himself. She had shocked him and intrigued him at the same time. Her wanton behavior drove him beyond mad with lust. He crushed his lips to hers in a rough kiss, as his hands went to her shift, sliding it slowly up her body. He fingers went to the waistband of her knickers. Undoing them, they slid down her shapely legs. He pulled her shift up her body, his eyes feasting on the bare flesh he revealed. He tossed it onto the pile of clothes collecting on the wood floor, and slid his arms around her bringing their naked bodies together as one. She could feel the throbbing hardness of his desire, burning against her abdomen. His hands went to her hair, gently pulling at the pins that held it in place. He ran his fingers through the long loose curls. "Beautiful," he whispered as he pulled her closer, running his tongue along her lips. Elsie pressed and slid against his body, moaning into his mouth, as he deepened their kiss. Charles' groans rumbled through his chest. He placed kisses along her throat and chest as Elsie tipped her head back, her long, dark locks tickling his hands as they gripped her firm bottom. Her leg instinctively made its way up and around his thigh, pressing her hot moist center into him. His hands on her bottom lifted her petite frame off the ground and he pulled her legs up to wrap around his waist.

Elsie could feel him between her thighs and she tightened her legs as she thrust towards him. "Please, Charles. Now!" She suddenly felt a cold surface against her back as she realized Charles had pushed her against the thick glass wall of the greenhouse. The heat from their bodies and breath causing a haze to cover the windows around them. Her arms still tight around his shoulders, her fingers digging deep into his flesh as she tried to coax him into her. "Now! Please!"

Charles kissed his way along her face and jaw, whispering words of love. "Just wait, my darling. I want this to be good for you. Oh, how I love you. You are so beautiful, Elsie."

Elsie felt him reach between their bodies, his thumb gently pressing her swollen nub, as his fingers slid into her. She begged against his shoulder, her cries of pleasure and passion causing her body to shake. "I love you so... Charles.. Ohhh.. Yes.. Please!"

Charles moved his hand and gently filled Elsie. As she arched against him her head tipping back and a cry escaping her throat. "Ohhh!"

Charles stopped himself long enough for Elsie to notice, and she pressed down onto him harder, using her legs to grip him as she thrust against his solid length. Their years of pent up sexual frustration and longing leading to this frenzied culmination of love and passion, they held tightly to each other as they moved together, quickly finding their mutual release and the home they had always known was within each other.


	7. Chapter 7

Charles held Elsie's trembling body in his arms as they both came down from the splendor of their ecstasy. Her legs slipped from around his body and he gently lowered her feet to the ground, still not releasing her from his arms. Her head was lowered into his chest, and he at once became nervous at their state of undress. He had never been so openly exposed to another. Yes, he had many romps in his early years, but nothing like this. Nothing so completely passionate and real. His emotions so raw and open. Keeping his hand on her arm, he bent and collected their clothing, draping his coat around Elsie's small shoulders until he could locate her shift. She still hadn't spoken and he could feel the tension between them. He noticed her cheeks were flushed and she couldn't quite meet his eye.

Charles slid his jacket around her shoulders and she pulled it tight to her bare chest. The storm was still raging outside and the lightning illuminated the greenhouse enough for Charles to see any imperfections in her body. She couldn't help but feel embarrassed and a bit ashamed by her wanton and lustful actions. She was sure she had shocked him, possibly even appalled him by her willingness to perform such scandalous acts. When she took him into her mouth... Oh, even the thought caused her cheeks to burn with shame. She had rarely ever felt out of control. She prided herself on always having her wits about her and being respectable at all times. Yet, when it came to Charles and their love, all bets were off. Her thoughts were tangled in her mind, she had no control over her body and actions. She felt completely powerless in her love for him.

Charles stood holding her shift. His hands came around to remove his jacket and he raised her arms, sliding the thin slip of fabric over her head and down her body. He pulled his jacket back around her shoulders to keep her warm, then bent to pull his shorts and trousers on in one swift movement. Elsie was still looking away from him when he placed her corset around her body. Her hands went up to secure the hooks and laces. He was sad to see her body now covered. It had been almost more than he could handle seeing, feeling, tasting her naked flesh. He could feel himself grow hard again at the thought of their uninhibited coupling. He hoped she hadn't thought him boorish. He felt like a downright cad. He had no intention of compromising her virtue, in fact he had hoped to save the special gift for their wedding night. He prayed they would have a wedding night. He had every intention of proposing to the woman before him, the love of his life.

Elsie took her dress from Charles and quickly stepped into it, pulling it on and fastening the buttons up her chest. Neither of them spoke. What would they say. What was there to say now. It was done, their passions had been satiated. Would Charles still want her after this? She wasn't sure. They had both confessed their love for one another, over and over again if her memory was correct. It had felt so right, the words slipping easily from her mouth as she looked deep into his eyes and rode the waves of pleasure coursing through her body.

Charles finished dressing as he watched Elsie work the buttons of her dress. Her delicate fingers moving effortlessly across her full bosom. He wanted nothing more than to tear the dress from her once more and explore her beautiful body all night long. But he knew they needed to get in order and make their way back to the house. The storm was passing and soon the others would be out looking for them. He watched as Elsie pulled her long wet chestnut locks over her shoulder.

"My pins, Charles. I will never be able to find them." As Elsie spoke the words, her lip began to tremble.

"It's alright, love." Charles soothingly replied, as Elsie began to break down before him.

"It's not alright, Charles!" Elsie gasped, tears forming in her eyes. "What you must think of me?" She whispered, her face falling into her hands.

Charles gently took her hands from her face. He placed his large fingers under her chin, tipping her face up to look at him. "Elsie Hughes. I think you are the most lovely, kind, wonderful woman in the world." He paused to kiss the tears from her cheeks, the corner of her mouth, the tip of her nose. "What happened between us tonight was beautiful. I have never felt that way in my life, and it was because of you. Because we are so very right together, Elsie. We were always meant to be like this. Maybe not exactly like this," he chuckled smiling down at her. "Oh Elsie, I love you with all my heart. Please don't be upset. Did you not enjoy yourself?" He added with a shy smile, his face reddening.

"Charles Carson, I have never felt anything so amazing in my life as I felt in your arms." She kissed his lips softly, slowly bringing her tiny palms to his face. "Thank you, Charles. I love you more than words can say."


End file.
